Saturday, November 20, 2010

Kronenbo...urg Blanc!

The first ever time I tried a Kronenbourg Lager was at The Dublin Castle Pub in Camden Town, London. On tap this is a really decent substitute to a Carlsberg, though it is owned by the latter. Kronenbourg is French, now that means different things to different people. To me the French make horrible beer period.

The Dublin Castle

Trivial Trivia - Stella Artois (French) is actually known as the Wife-beater's Beer. Source - Sakepedia

Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised by the Kronenbourg tap, light, crispy, moderate head and very very edgy. Goes down brilliantly with a cigarette. But its only good on tap, the cans and bottles taste so bad it makes petrol seem like a better option. Irrespective, I tried the Kronenbourg Blanc (White Beer)...

It made me want to go up to the bartender hold him by his collar and vomit the stuff on his face while yelling out expletives and demanding a refund! Oh the blanc was ugly, so ugly. It was like somebody left some cider in a plastic cup at a house party and his drunk friend put some lager into it accidently and then the host of the party took a leak in it and topped the glass off with a lemon. And it cost me £5.50, which, to a poor student is a lot of money.

I don't even wish to waste space on the review of this abomination of a beer. A lot of people seem to like the citric flavors of this beer but frankly it tastes like liquid bubblegum. I dont have too much respect for the Carlsberg group anyway but with the blanc they just proved themselves to be Grade 1 Danish Douchebags, it's one of those pompous attempts at trying to sell you utter shite in the guise of exotic beer.

The concept of white beer is pretty creative. The primary ingredient is wheat which lends it the light color and taste and to that various flavorings are added usually of the citric fruit variety. So what you are supposed to get is fruity lager ideal for summer day sipping. But Kronenbourg lost the plot somewhere and have not been able to find it since 1664 (isnt that what the bottle says?). I'm still open to the White Beer concept, Hoegaarden is a witbier (German) and they do a good job of it especially on tap.

Rating : 2/10

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