Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Desi Light - Discovering the UB Export in Gokarna

I would like to first take this opportunity to pat myself on the back for having planned a trip to Gokarna in the first week of January in stead of the usual last week of December business thus furthur postponing my January blues. And my oh my what a beautiful place Gokarna is! Fuck Goa, for life!

Not only is Gokarna a perfect substitute to Goa in terms of food/cheap booze/beaches etc, it's way cheaper and the people are not crazed by copious amount of the drug called Money. If the approach road to a place is any indicator of a place you are arriving at, well then, you won't have too much of an indication of Paradise Beach. For one, there is no approach road! There is an approach waterway, or a 45 minute trek. We chose the boat for a very rational and logical reason : It's wayyyy more badass arriving at a party in a boat! Pradise Beach is probably 1/10th the size of your Baga/Anjuna/Calangute shithole. The water is clean and the sand is soft. There are shacks on the beach which can be rented out for a measly Rs 250 a night for 3 people. That works out to, wait let me get a calculator........ approximately... fuckal compared to what you pay in Goa.

Ok enough Goa bashing. Being in Gokarna felt like what the New Wave of Hippies must have felt when they first arrived in Goa. Everything was still relatively untouched by capitalism, the people smiled often and laughed loudly. I did not get out of my lungi for 4 days, only wearing a t-shirt at night. The level of chilled-outness was up there with the stars.

Oh did I mention how starry the night sky was? So for a scene like this, where you begin getting high the minute you open your eyes because an unmanned clay-pipe finds its way to your mouth, you need alcohol that will sustain you in stead of get you run out sometime around 2.30 pm. "Oh Gods of Beer, please give me strength to tolerate the bottled tripe of the Evil Dr. Mallaya." was my constant prayer.

That's when I stumbled upon The UB Export. It's very interesting because this beer is obviously made by the UB conglomerate and is available only in Karnataka. And is quite a hit there. I wouldn't touch this beer with a 10 yard pole if I were out drinking with buddies on a night out in Bombay. But as I mentioned earlier you need a light beer to sustain you if you intend on drinking throughout the day without doing much activity. For that reason, the Export is a win!

Needless to say it's very light with a fruity nose and a non-existent head, which furthur translates into low carbonation. So far so-good for the 'all-day romp'. But what's more, this beer has absolutely no after-taste. No jokes. You could gulp the damn thing down, the whole 330 ml pint and not have a hint of an after-taste. For purists this is a cardinal sin, because either the hop content is not up to the mark or the hop quality is poor as fuck. Also, the gelatin content in the bottle is very low, which I welcome with open arms and a luscious pink throat and tonsils. You can gulp bottle after bottle without the horrible itchiness caused by the KF pints

What this means is that the UB Export is a beer sherbat! I know how dirty that sounds but it sums up the damn thing neatly. Go for the UB Export if drinking is your secondary source of getting high. However it's no biggie on the taste. There's a thin line between liking and hating this beer, and this thin line is a moon-kissed clear water crecent beach on the north-western shore of Karnataka.

Rating : 5.75/10
URL : http://www.kingfisherworld.com/corporate/UB_Export.aspx

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